There’s so much to do

It’s 5pm on a Sunday, there’s so much to do before I leave you again tomorrow morning. So much to cram into a few short hours before I get in the car and play in traffic, sit in an office away from you, my heart all the while calling out for you, my arms wishing they could be holding you.

I need to tidy your nursery, fold and pack away your clothes…but your eyes have closed and your cheek rests against my chest.

I need to cook your food, so healthy and wholesome, but your breath has slowed and quietened and calmed.

I need to sterilize and clean and expresss and sterilize again, but your tiny hand has curled tight around my hair.

I need to bath you and change you, but your little legs have tucked up into the crook of my arm.

There’s so much to do my sweet Hannah bear, but you lie here asleep, contented and calm. There’s so much to do, but I need to tell you before I leave again tomorrow how much I love you, you need to know how every second I get to cuddle you while you’re asleep makes my heart sing. I need to let you know that I will always be here for you to rest on, a safe, cosy squishy place for you to sleep.

There’s so much to do, but this is more important. Watching you breathe in, breathe out…your lips twitching in a smile as you dream – I hope you remember those happy dreams.

There’s so much to do, but all that can wait.

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